Search Query Answers: Because You Asked! (And I Don’t Have a Talk Show)

Quite a few questions rolled into the site today via my insistence that search query terms that bring people to my blog are just like emails to Craig Ferguson.  To the issues at hand:

“Who Wrote ‘Don’t Cry’ Axl or Izzy?”

And also Jimmy Dugan.

Cocca says?  Both.  Also give some credit to writer and GNR friend Del James.  As you should know from your collection of Guns N’ Roses videos on VHS, James wrote the short story “Without You,” from which the Don’t Cry-Estranged-November Rain trilogy drew inspiration.  And now, a question for you: Does Shannon Hoon sing on the “Don’t Cry” track(s)?  Yes, yes he does.

“New Hess diner patio Allentown PA”

Not that I’m aware of.  And I’d like to think this is something I’d be aware of.

“Names of shuttles in the space race.”

My blog is known for commentary on GNR, Hess’s, and the Space Race. Win.  As usual, Wikipedia has the answers, but I’m going to name some from the top of my head:

Enterprise (prototype, I think)
Endeavour
Columbia
Atlantis
Challenger
Discovery

Got ’em all? Wiki says: yep.

“Yuri Gagarin Shuttle Name?”

He didn’t use a shuttle (the US pioneered that in the late 70s/early 80s).  I want to say his craft was called Volstok (but that would make me wrong: the craft, and the the rocket system he launched with, and the whole human-space-flight program itself, was called Vostok, which translates to East. Ominous, right?)

“2011 Baseball Beard”

You can have the beard on waivers.

I got this. Remember the other day when the owner of the Mets publicly ran down his best players?  As a Phillies fan, I loved this.  As a person, I felt kind of bad, especially for David “He’s A Good Kid” Wright.  Wright’s response was pretty classy.  And never again will you hear me say nice things about David Wright.  But I do have a solution to the whole ownership-talent divide.  The Mets should sign me.  I’m good for morale, I have a great baseball beard, and I look good in blue.  Also, I couldn’t possibly make that team any worse. On the business side, I’ll do all the PR.  I can do live tweets from the bench, expertly manage talent-owner relations because of my professional disinterest in both parties, and introduce a plethora of mid-inning shenanigans to delight the Queens faithful at Citi Field. I’ll also ban the selling of any Mets player merch not related to Richie Ashburn or Tug McGraw.  Player ego issues solved.  Just let me take BP and sit with Cliff Lee when the Phils come to town. Listen, Mets office.  I’m ready when you are.

One For The Baseball Purists Among Us

I found this picture via the latest Jerry Reuss post at UniWatch:

What is up with Terry Francona’s mock turtle neck?  This picture was taken last season, I believe.  You know the umpire can’t believe he’s seeing this.  “Calm down, Terry.  And listen, man, I think, well, shit Franc, I think you’re wearing a tunic. Take it easy, little brother.  Did Jayson Werth roll and smoke your jersey during interleague again? No, I don’t know why he’s not staying with the Phils, but Terry, that’s beside the point.  You need to get back in the dugout.  Now.  You’re the manager of a legacy team, dude.  You need to class this up.”

Don’t way it’s a new New England thing.  Terry, you’re  better than that. I don’t care what Scioscia does.  He knows better, too.

A Paean For the Fourteenth of February, A.D. 2011.

Today our hearts are full of spring.  Hopes and expectations advance from the cold winter of our more withdrawn selves and everything is possible, nay, everything is new!  The vanquished and the victors each with passions barely bridled step forth to give and to receive; Joy, oh Joy, that wing-ed thing! And wing-ed, with its own wings lending; might we see eternal forms?  Today, the ancient tandems torn asunder by the cycling of Demeter reunite in temperate climes.  Persephone returns to us, and Proserpina, Roman twin:

Oh, that's right. It's today.