Problem: you enter a convenience store thirsty, thinking you have money in your pocket.  It turns out you have but one lone His Excellency.  What to do you?

You go ahead and spend .99 on 23.5 ounces of 90s design aesthetic and acceptable levels of high fructose corn syrup. And you can totally recycle the can.

Yes, friends, this still exists.  AriZona Tea, you are the unmoved mover of all the latter-day sweetened beverages, aren’t you?  You immutable, glorious, drinkable urn of my youth.  What can explain you?  2 what do U compare? If only I’d been wearing my awesome Arizona Jeans products from 1995-97.  Alas, except for a choice pair of brown cords, all of those pants disintegrated after two or three times through the laundry.  My mom said the holes at the pockets were the result of strain from wearing my blue jeans too low.  As if.  Why don’t you just call them slacks and be done with it, Mom?  Oh, YES I AM going to see Fastball, Marcy Playground, Wyclef Jean, Green Day, Everclear, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and Eve 6 in Camden. Oh I’m not? Really?

Really.

Don’t get the wrong idea: the concert debacle had nothing to do with my jeans.  Sorry, friends.  The AriZona is doing its thing.