It’s Still Too Soon for the Ironic Use of “Not” on the Front Page of a(ny) Newspaper

When I was in college, I believed my life’s work to consist of two major projects: 1) fundamentally questioning the epistemological prejudices of the 17th-century philosphes (pompous jerks) and 2) bringing back the ’80s.  By the time I graduated, I’d seen the US beat Russia in hockey and Hulk Hogan regain the WWF championship. Goal #2 totally nailed. Goal #1 turns out to be a longer deal.

Almost ten years later, the ’90s revival is in full swing like clockwork.  I like to think I play a part in this, however small (watching The Fresh Prince on TVLand totally counts).  I know I can be a bit of a nostalgia snob, but without nostalgia snobbery, how will the world know it’s not too soon to dust off Hypercolor?  That was a trick question, friends.  It’s never too soon for Hypercolor.  See what I mean?

It is too soon, Morning Call, for this:

Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea behind the headline.  There’s definitely a MySpace joke in the mix here somewhere.  Can you come up with a better headline sticking to these central elements: nostalgia for 2005, MySpace’s current woes, nostalgia for 1991, and something funny about a municipality throwing away everybody’s snow chairs?  Do so in the comments.  Hint from a nostalgia snob: the (NOT) construction is very, very tricky.  As the root of everything snarky and ironically detached about our society, can it ever actually be satirized?  Herein lies the problem with this headline.  It’s much too late to use (NOT) in a sort of topical way, but as the original of the ironic species, (NOT) also seems somehow immune to further satirization. I’d say it’s the Chuck Norris beard of snarky catchphrases, but not even a roundhouse kick from the Chuck Norris of snark (Jay and Eric, I want you to wrestle for that title) can touch it its lovely whiskers.  (NOT) is an untouchable, the great Source Wall of everything we wink about.  You leave MC Hammer out of this.

6 thoughts on “It’s Still Too Soon for the Ironic Use of “Not” on the Front Page of a(ny) Newspaper

  1. O holy chairs of Bethlehem

    Dana Carvey just hosted SNL so I assume the author was feeling a bit nostalgic for Wayne’s World when he penned the headline.

  2. (Un?)fortuantely, I don’t have much recollection of the ’80s. As a member of a less distinguished and less mature generation, how about an attempt to bridge the ’90s and ’00s with the headline of, “Dude, Where’s My Chair?”

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