To Boldly Go Where No Beard has Gone Before

This is from 2011.  I’ve had about 37 beards since then.

I’ve been getting f Zach Galifianakis love lately.  Random teenagers at Rita’s.  Kids at a fair.  Entire weddings.

A new claimant to Beard Twin has entered the fray, and this one is nothing short of amazing.

The text simply read: “I didn’t know you were in Star Trek?!”

In case you don’t know, I enjoy Star Trek.  I don’t dress up or go to conventions or anything, but I appreciate the franchise.  Maybe I comment on message boards from time to time.  Maybe I wanted to be James T. Kirk when I was a kid.  Maybe I have strong feelings about why he was the best captain and why Voyager isn’t as bad as people say it is.  Big deal.  I like narratives and monomyths, remember?  I’m in it for the craft, see?

These images look like they’re from Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979), but it’s been a good 15 years since I’ve seen that film.  Can anyone confirm?  And yes, they were snapped with a smart phone from a television broadcast.  V’ger would be proud.

Onto the images themselves.  I just have to say: not only does this guy have my exact beard style, but he also actually really looks like me.  Perhaps my future self went to the past and filmed this scene?  I’ll find out soon.  He can’t be much older than I am now in these shots.  Who is this bearded fellow?  What is his destiny?  Memory Alpha, what say you?

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Hipster Jesus and the Clone Army of Zach Galifianakis

Remember when I posted that picture of Zach Galifianakis shaving his head that I thought looked a lot like me?  Since then, I’ve been accosted at weddings, baseball games, Time Square, and, yes, even Rita’s Water Ice about the resemblance.  Mostly it’s the beard, but there are also those fine, chiseled Mediterranean features to consider…if I do say so myself, Zach and I have the eyes and noses of  those old Greek and Roman statues (customs didn’t catch us).   Once you get below the beard, our physiques diverge a bit from those vaulted forms of classical antiquity. But I digress.

One of the funniest lines from the original Hangover was the sublime, “Come over here handsome.  Not you, Fat Jesus!”  I haven’t been called Fat Jesus yet, but I have been positively identified in this drawing:

That’s Fat Jesus: 0.  Easter Jesus: 1

With my work in sustainability, my MFA, my interest in cycling and my high hopes for downtown Allentown (not to mention my beard), I know I run the Hipster Jesus risk at pretty high levels.  I haven’t heard it yet, but I’m probably due.  If and when you’re inclined to think of your Daily Cocca as the Hipster Jesus, remember this, friends:

It’s true. You’re cool because he first was cool. I’m pretty sure that’s in one of the Pauline epistles.  Found this great image via Chad Crawford. Speaking of Christians, hipsters, and Zach Galifianakia on Twitter, I just saw this from @missional:



Hey, Eric Sylvester:  It looks like The Daily Cocca has a new favorite hockey team. Sorry, The Daily Cocca’s wife: it’s still not the Rangers.

These Are NOT Stills From “The Hangover Part III: Alan Gets Married” (But They Could Be)

They are, instead, the photographic evidence of the beautiful wedding of two wonderful friends (groom not pictured, natch).  As the day and evening progressed, the degree to which people just called me Alan increased accordingly.

I was going for Morrison or Foghat, but I'll take Galifianakis all day long. Who are these comely gents beside me? I still don't know!

Don’t Forget to Vote in The Daily Cocca’s Exclusive Poll: “It’s Time to Play ‘Me or Zach Galifianakis?'”