Saying Goodbye to America’s Showplace

Well they blew up the Chicken Man in Philly last night
you know they blew up his house, too.
-Bruce Springsteen

I hate seeing things I loved as a kid get torn down or paved over.  Green space in Lehigh and Montgomery Counties, PA, for example.  The cornfields behind my old neighborhood mowed down for overvalued McMansions that block the fireworks from three cities on the 4th of July.  More recently, Veteran’s Stadium.  Now, finally, the Spectrum.

America's Showplace

You might not know this, but the Spectrum invented the concept of arena as rock show apogee.  Without it, Bruce Springsteen would, quite literally, not have been possible.  Opened in 1967, the Spectrum was the first of its kind, “America’s Showplace.”  The Sixers and Flyers won championships there.  I saw Dr. J play there, and Charles Barkley.  I held a Hulk Rules sign and swore the Red and Yellow pointed right at me from the ring in post-win celebration.  I saw Shawn Michaels roll Marty Janetty over while the seeds of their inevitable feud were being sewn.

Bruce Springsteen and hundreds (thousands?) of others got their first big-venue gigs at the Spectrum, due in part to Philadelphia’s legendary support of rock radio and working-class talent.  Sure, there were old-time concert halls and places like Madison Square Garden, but the Spectrum was the first indoor sports facility to have been specifically built with popular music shows also in mind. It was the first premier arena of the rock era.  As such, it was the place to be seen and heard, and like Esther Smith would say, it was right here in my own back yard.

Last night, they finished tearing the last old concrete guts and bones from this historic place.  On October 20, 2009, I was lucky enough to be on hand for Bruce Springsteen & The E-Street Band’s last-ever Spectrum show.  In case you don’t know, Bruce is a Philly favorite, an adopted son from just across the river, and he and Billy Joel had their own banners in the rafters of the Spectrum for their record-setting streaks of consecutive sellout shows (still counting.  The banners have been in the CoreState/First Union/Wachovia/Wells-Fargo Center for years, but Bruce’s was moved back for his last stand at the Showplace.)

The 10/20 show was historic by default: the last rock arena, the last rock star, the last time in Philly.  The last time in the place where modern concert-going and giving started, the last time in the place where The Boss cut his teeth.  Sitting in the Spectrum, you’re right down the street from all other kinds of American history.  Throw in the themes of the Born In The USA album, which was played in its entirety, and you’ve got yourself a certain kind of seminar.  In the context of the financial crisis, the wars, the Revolution, the loss of dear things, the loss of dear people, the loss of whole places, it was powerful to feel so obviously American and so absolutely not ironic.  When the band opened with “The Price You Pay,” which they hadn’t been played live since 1981, the tone was set:  recognition, celebration, sincerity, thanks.  “Wrecking Ball,” a paean to the lost shrines of our youth, was exuberant even in its decidedly antifatalist fatalism:

Now when all this steel and these stories, they drift away to rust
And all our youth and beauty, it’s been given to the dust
And your game has been decided, and you’re burning the clock down
And all our little victories and glories, have turned into parking lots
When your best hopes and desires, are scattered through the wind
And hard times come, hard times go
Hard times come, hard times go
And hard times come, hard times go
Hard times come, hard times go
Hard times come, hard times go
Yeah just to come again

Bring on your wrecking ball
Bring on your wrecking ball
Come on and take your best shot, let me see what you’ve got
Bring on your wrecking ball
Bring on your wrecking ball (bring on your wrecking ball)
Bring on your wrecking ball (bring on your wrecking ball)
Take your best shot, let me see what you’ve got, bring on your wrecking ball

The view form our seats.

That this set would be a once-in-a-lifetime rock and roll moment was never really a question, but there are all kinds of emotional intangibles going on in settings like this.  It wasn’t just Bruce’s last show at the Spectrum.  It wasn’t just the last time the Spectrum would welcome Bruce or any of us home.  It wasn’t just Clarence Clemmons’ last time ever in Philly as part of E-Street (be healthy, Big Man), and it wasn’t just the ghosts of 42 years piled to the ceiling.  It was all of these things, but also the kind of joy that comes from impossible defiance and being in the company of thousands of strangers celebrating something immediately collective. That E-Street, the tightest band to ever grace the Earth, and Bruce, the greatest figure not named Elvis, were the evening’s spiritual directors meant the farewell ritual would be orchestrated perfectly.  That these fans are passionate and savvy, that these songs are about them, meant something else entirely.  This was rock and roll church in a very sacred sense. Afterward I texted one word and one word only: transcendent.  There were even random acts of kindness. When Joe Torre and Donnie Baseball casually assumed regular-guy seats in the middle of the Phillies/Dodgers NLDS, Philly fans actually greeted them with warm applause and good-hearted jibes.  Call that appreciation for a respected baseball man (Philadelphia knows its baseball and its baseball manners. Remember when we booed Brett Meyers for walking Griffey when Griffey was sitting at #599?), call it Brotherly Love.  I call it everyone being in on what the night was all about.  Grown men cried.  Children laughed. Bruce slow-danced with his 90-year old mom.  Quite simply, it was perfect.

Below are two videos from the night of the show.  The first is a short clip of “The Price You Pay” taken on my camera phone.  The second (not by me) is “Higher and Higher.” Given the angle of the later shot, it’s quite possible that two of the smiling, transfigured faces behind Bruce belong to me and my #1 Bromance respectively.  Yep, I got to go to the best rock show ever with my best friend, and he’s also the one who orchestrated the logistics and made the whole thing happen.  Seeing the concert of a lifetime with my life-long partner-in-crime, concert-going, and Meg Ryan movies was really the only way to do it.  What?  We also go see all the Apatow movies.  Hmmm? You don’t remember how cute Meg Ryan was in 90s?  So what if I cried when she died in City of Angels?  You were right, Johnny Rzeznik, the world won’t understand.  To Jonny my BFF, thanks again, brother. You’re the Nils Lofgren to my Steven Van Zandt.  The Nic to my Cage.  The Conan to my Andy Richter.  The David Spade to my Chris Farley.  The Ramon to my Vic.

There are lots of videos from 10/20 all over the web, but these two are significant to me:

Goodnight, friend.  America just lost of piece of itself. Thanks for the memories.

Conan O’Brien and The First (Finally!) Post-Ironic Hipster

Tattoo on Mike's left shoulder. And he seemed sincere about it. Ironic hipsters are a drag. Post-ironic hipsters, it turns out, are really, really funny.

Douglas Alden Warshaw on some of the things we’ve been talking about here: Generation X, Generation Y, curation, Twitter, how people in their mid-30s and younger engage online et cetera, all through the lens of Conan O’Brien’s comeback.  I can’t tell if this is on the CNN, Fortune, or Tech blog, but whatevs.

Here’s a little ditty I did on Huffington last April about Conan O’Brien and “the new sincerity,” specifically, Conan’s pleas against cynicism during his ouster and his continuing faith in a sort of golden rule.

I know I’m a little late on this, but the Conan segment from Monday with the fan correspondent known to the internet only as Mustache Mike (Mike/Michael Sag?) was, perhaps, the funniest 15 minutes of late night television I’ve seen in a long time.  Think a 2011 Manny The Hippie with natural presence, constant Superman stance, and a really funny sense of humor in all the places Manny kept his pot.  Line of the night: “He’s a knight. He deserves our respect.”

Conan O’Brien and The Post-Ironic Hipsters is totally going to be the name of the alt.country band I form with Conan once I meet him.

On Edison’s Birthday, Light an AC Current for Nikola Tesla

Google, you disappoint me.  Your whimsical doodle today is in honor of the 164th birthday of one Thomas Alva Edison.  Industrial Prometheus, titan of invention, bringer of lux et veritas et cetera.  Too bad he was a total jackwagon.

This guy.

Don’t let anyone fool you.  For the love of money and power, Edison played a strong hand in the destruction of the most brilliant human being to ever walk the earth. Nikola Tesla‘s face should be on money. It should have been renamed the Tesla Prize.  Think Leonardo Da Vinci with alternating current, electromagnetic breakthroughs, contributions to ballistics, robotics, nuclear physics.  Think the wireless transmission of energy to electric devices by 1893.  Think of where we’d be with that now.  Think remote controlled submarines in 1898.  Think of using the Earth itself as a conductor of free energy.  Think of every cool steam-punk thing you ever saw or read.  Imagine having landed on the moon in 1920 instead of 1969.

Thomas Edison.  Happy Birthday, jerk.

In Praise of Baseball Beards and Howard Johnson

Everyone knows a good baseball mustache.  Dennis Eckersley’s is the perfect example.  Mike Schmidt’s won co-MVP in ’81.  Sparky Lyle had the kind of lip thatch that could argue balls and strikes.  Any manager in any baseball movie ever had a proud one. In recent years, Jim Leyland has almost single-handedly maintained one of baseball’s finest traditions.

Great for wrestling. Fun at parties. Not a baseball ‘stache. Stupid James Blunt. He gets to do EVERYTHING.

As you probably know, the sweet science is a game of subtle nuance, and the term “baseball mustache” cannot be awarded tjust any goofball tresses sprouting betwixt a player’s nose and cupid’s bow.  Mike Piazza never had a real baseball mustache in my opinion.  Rollie Fingers, Catfish Hunter, and Goose Gossage had amazing staches each, but I’ve always considered their entries too old-timey for my very narrow definition of what makes a great sabermetic philtral coif.  Even Robin Yount is on the bubble, losing points in my system as his face hair rounds the corners of his lips and heads for home halfway to his chin.  Leading is fine, but I will tolerate absolutely no stealing  as long as I’m calling the game.  I will protect the plate, and in this case, the plate is the point at which  a stellar baseball mustache becomes a Hogan. Look, I know this leaves out Thurmon Munson, and I feel like a jerk about that.   But these are my parameters.  It’s a gut thing.  The quintessential baseball mustache is elusive.  It’s not perfect-game-elusive, but it’s kind of like a unicorn.  Everyone can tell you it’s not really out there, but you know deep in your heart it is.  You know that someday, when you need it most, it will be be there.  And it will have absolutely nothing to do with Jason Giambi.  It will be on a baseball card from the 80’s, an old issue of SI.  It will be from a time when proud men wore mesh hats and double knits without irony.  When torsos were bedazzled and every team wore powder blue for road games to show just how very tough they were.  Yes friends, the early, heady days of postmodern baseball were too fast and too few, so very much unlike the long off-season of our retro discontent.  So very much unlike the constructs in this paragraph.

Who’s more intimidating than Charles Bronson? Oh, that’s right. It’s me. By the way, I’m a pitcher, and yes, yes I will be holding a bat in my official Phillies photo.

Even so, the baseball mustache is widely (though often improperly) hailed, and hail it we certainly should.  But what about its shy-guy cousin, the greatness that is the baseball beard?  Off the top of my head, I can refer you to three Phillies and one no good stinkin’ Met.  Garry Maddox had a perennial beauty in all shapes and sizes.  Steve Bedrosian and Jeff Parret were a bearded bullpen tandem called the Firemen.

And then we have the man in blue and orange, a third baseman for the only team I hate more than the Yankees.  But alas, you majestic wonder, I can muster absolutely no ill-will for you whatsoever.  You are Howard Johnson, the Elliot from 30something of the Dwight Gooden-era Mets.

HoJo (can I call you HoJo?), I have to confess.  Back in the day, when Mackey Sasser, Mookie Wilson, Ron Darling and Co. were all my cousin could talk about, you were the Met I picked on.  You were, to me, a nerdier Gary Carter, and your nerdiness grew and grew in my mind as you slipped from the bright lights of baseball card fame.  Over time, I remembered you only as a caricature, a joke about hotels.  But you were actually a pretty good player, weren’t you?  Yes, I think you were.  Thanks for Kevin Elster and Greg Jeffries, by the way.  Rated Rookies.

Hoje, I have to tell you something else.  I was always convinced that you owned the line of comfortable, affordable hotels that bear your not-so-rare but oh-so-fitting name.  I mean, come on. Their corporate colors are blue and orange.  What was I supposed to think?  What were any of us supposed to think?  Brooks Robinson owned a sporting goods company.  Lots of players own car dealerships and restaurants.  I was convinced you owned the joint across from Dorney Park (next to the Perkins) and this is why I could never really hate you, sir.  And an awesome beard.

That’s not also the concierge uniform?

When you went to the Rockies, the hotels stayed blue and orange.  But I don’t think I even really noticed. You were out of the NL East. Out of sight and out of mind, as I believe they say.  Then you all went on strike and lost me for the most cynical (and strangely awesome) part of my teens.   I will forever feel a strange connection to you, HoJo, welling up from somewhere I know I’ve failed to name.  If the Mets ever make it back to the playoffs (of course I hope they don’t), I hope you grow your beard anew.  I hope you let that freak flag fly, Howard Johnson, right-handed 3b, New York Metropolitans.  You just let it fly.

Hogan picture via alacoolb on Flickr.

“The Office,” “Community” and “30 Rock” Notes + A Great Post Inspired by “The King’s Speech”

Happy Friday, friends.  Just a few things I want to talk about today. If you’re a fan of the shows mentioned in this post’s title and haven’t gotten to your DVR yet, be aware: there are spoilers after #1.

  1. First, this great post by K at the My Business Addiction blog.  It’s about  “The King’s Speech” and “not letting imperfections keep [you] from taking chances and seeking out opportunities.”  I really liked this post and recommend it.
  2. I’ve been hoping that when Ricky Gervais made his inevitable “Office” cameo, it would be as David Brent.  And he did!  Non-Michael/David line of the night: “Where’s your jet pack, Zuckerberg?”  Was the interaction believable?  In some ways, yes, since for the storyline to pay off, it had to happen.  But I tend to think that people reconnecting as adults are a lot more gracious to each other than TV would have us believe.  I tend to think that after a certain point, we all realize that life is hard, things don’t always work out the way we plan, and we’re all pushing on.  That’s not just me, is it?
  3. I feel like “Community” got its heart back last week.  Heart and sincerity are what made season 1 so good.  Yes, it was outlandishly funny, but that only worked because it was balanced by heart.  The first half of this season missed a lot of that. Last week’s episode found it, and last night’s kept it going.  Good good good.
  4. 30 Rock was all about “Uptown Girl.” Must be something in the air.

Have a great weekend.  Check back tomorrow for a new video blog.

Your Life in Radio Singles

Nick Hornby signing books at Central Library, ...
You were the first Goonie.

The discussion on the “A Few More Things Your Kids Won’t Do, Generation X” post inspired me to follow up on a project I started a few years ago.  Everyone gets those Nick Hornby-inspired Facebook memes (“15 Albums That Changed Your Life”), and as much as we identify with certain collections of songs our favorite artists put out at pivotal (I am “What’s The Story (Morning Glory?)” in case you were wondering), I think an inventory of radio singles is a much better sampling.  First of all, there are more of them, and radio singles are more accessible sooner than the esoterica of record stores.  (Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure we stilled called them record stores well after they stopped selling vinyl records…but that’s a whole other esoteric discussion.)  So, your life in radio singles.  What would it look like?

Some rules:

  • They have to be singles that you remember the release of, either on the radio or on television.
  • They must evoke a person, time, place or way of being whenever you hear them.
  • You must list them chronologically, or as Rob from High Fidelity has it, autobiographical.

I’ll start.

An Innocent Man (song)
Oh yes I am.

1. “An Innocent Man” by Billy Joel, 1983.

2. “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel, 1983.

3. “Gloria” by Laura Branigan, 1983.

4. “The Longest Time” by Billy Joel, 1984.

*1, 2, and 4: I listened to this album all the time in the basement with my dad in the house we lived in when I was born.  We had a silver analog stereo, and I remember wondering where the songs and singers went when they faded out.  We watched cartoons, practiced spelling, reading, and boxing and listened to Billy Joel. I danced and jumped to the doo-wop grooves of this album and made the record to skip.  This would directly lead to the need for digital audio in the Cocca household.  3: I remember seeing this performed on one of those awesome pop shows.

5. “Take On Me” by A-ha, 1984. One of the first music videos I ever saw. It was a cartoon. And it was perfect.

Born in the USA
I went with this instead of the "Born in the USA" cover. Sorry, ladies.

6. “Born In The USA” by Bruce Springsteen, 1984. My dad had this one too. I remember singing the chorus as loud as I could in my room.

7. “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker, Jr., 1984.  If you were a kid in the 80s with any access to a radio, you loved this song. I had a Ghostbusters mirror from a fair in my room. It fell off the wall and broke, probably because I was dancing too enthusiastically to “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker, Jr.

Speaking of.  8.”Dancing On the Ceiling” by Lionel Richie, 1986. Dancing. On. The. Ceiling! I remember this in conjunction with being at my cousins’ house and seeing  the Latter Day Saints commercial where the little boy takes a groceries to his lonely neighbor.

9. “You Can Call Me Al” by Paul Simon, 1986. Another one I remember because of the video. And the trombone.

10. “True Blue” by Madonna, 1986. Walking around my grandma’s development and singing it to show my older cousins that I knew a Madonna song.

11. “Luka” by Suzanne Vega, 1987. The 80’s could be effing scary.

12. “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!)” by the Beastie Boys, 1987.  I was licensed to spill.

13. “Superstitious” by Europe, 1988. Because I decided I should start watching MTV and have a favorite hairband. I was 8.

14. “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys, 1988. Cocktail and Uncle Jesse were everywhere that year. Elementary school music class “bring your favorite tape to school day” was no exception. What a cool song. Hard to believe Mike everlovin’ Love wrote it without Brian.

15. “Make Me Lose Control” by Eric Carmen, 1988. My sister was 3 and LOVED this song.

Rock the House (album)
Too literal? Too fresh!

16. “Parents Just Don’t Understand” by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, 1988. The first rap song I can really remember.

17. “Nightmare On My Street” by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, 1988. My cousin and I were at our grandparents’ house and called the station to request this one. We got through and got on air and listened to it on our Pop’s radio in his den. I dedicated it “to everybody.” I think it was Halloween.

18. “Straight Up” by Paula Abdul, 1989. I was in fourth grade. She was so hot. And the video was awesome.

19. “Batdance” by Prince, 1989. From the Batman soundtrack. My cousin insisted that Prince said the f-word in it. Dancers were dressed like half Jokers/half Batmen. Started watching Vh1 around this time.

20. “Cherish” by Madonna, 1989. Reminded me of The Association. Thought she was pretty. Wanted to live underwater.

21. “Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx, 1989. Do I listen to pop music because I’m miserable, or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?

tom_petty_full_moon_fever
Perfection.

22. “Runnin’ Down A Dream” by Tom Petty, 1989. Cartoon video. Awesome song.  Discovered it (and Tom Petty) while looking for something to watch.

23. “Free Fallin'” by Tom Petty, 1989. Two kids singing this on the escalator at the mall. She loves Jesus? And America? I am 9 and so do I.

24. “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak, 1989. This is when I started to realize there was something inexplicably beautiful about being heartsick. Could longing be better than having? Wait, what? Nevermind.  Baseball cards!

25. “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel, 1989.

26. “Another Day In Paradise” by Phil Collins, 1989.

25. “I Wish It Would Rain Down” by Phil Collins, 1989.

27. “Leningrad” by Billy Joel, 1989.

28. “The Downeaster Alexa” by Billy Joel, 1990.

29. “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor, 1990.

I'm totally bald, guys.

*25-29: I memorized “We Didn’t Start The Fire” for a poetry recital and explicated “Another Day In Paradise” for an English project. These tracks and these albums crystallized some early ideas about social justice, history, politics, longing, work…

30. “Black Velvet” by Allanah Myles, 1990. In addition to Jesus, I must now also come to terms with Elvis. Staying up late on Friday nights watching Vh1 and the Family Channel with my mom.

31. “One More Try” by Timmy T, 1990. I wonder what kinds of things people do to screw relationships up. Driving to my grandparents’ house past the municipal golf course and hearing it on the radio.

32. “No Myth” by Michael Penn, 1990. I had trouble sleeping as a kid. I used to listen to the local adult contemporary station every night and I really loved all these 1989/1990 songs. And black jeans.

33: “I’ve Been Thinking About You” by Londonbeat, 1990. See above. Sha-pop-pop. I’d often hear “No Myth” and “I’ve Been Thinking About You” back-to-back on ninety-six-one. And “King of Wishful Thinking” and so many other classics. “Wicked Game” was like a bonus.

34. “It Must Have Been Love” by Roxette, 1990. I remember hearing this in the car for the first time.

35. “Hazard” by Richard Marx, 1991. Mystical. This is one of the great narrative videos of the early 90s. I buy Rush Street.

36. “Baby, Baby” by Amy Grant, 1991. And everything else from Heart In Motion.

37. “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” by Bryan Adams, 1991. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves Soundtrack. Video plays at the end of the VHS tape. This is the single greatest “couples” song ever played at any elementary school skating party. I am in 6th grade and am smitten. See #21.

38. “Losing My Religion” by R.E.M. One of these arty grown up bands they’re playing on Vh1 when I’m 11. More of this, please. I hear it walking past the Tilt-A-Whirl at Dorney Park.

He found you at Kmart. I taped you on a Kenwood.

39. “Motownphilly” by Boyz II Men, 1991. I don’t think anything needs to be said about this song. I borrowed the album from my cousin and dubbed it. They came to the Allentown Fair that year with Hammer and TLC. I was not allowed to go.

40. “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” by Boyz II Men, 1991. See above. These guys were the real deal.

41. “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men, 1992. See above. Still waiting for theuppityupalexvanderpoolera.

42. “Just Another Day” by John Secada, 1992. Remember Adult Contemporary?  Do you miss it as much as I do?

43. “Jesus Is Still Alright” by DC Talk, 1992. Samples the Doobie Brothers, Madonna, and Snap! The video on that Christian station out of Bethlehem makes me want to grow a goatee. Nathan Key turns me on to Free At Last.

44. “The One” by Elton John, 1992. And we’re back to see #21 above.

Redaction: I forgot “Into The Great Wide Open” by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, 1991. The early 90’s music video aesthetic is something I miss. Petty was dressing like a hippie pirate at this point and I first heard this song on SNL. When you’re a kid, and you’ve sort of grown up on a certain album by a certain artist, and then you start getting a little older and that artist releases something new, it’s sort of like John on Patmos. This is a great track with a great narrative video on a great album from a great artist. When I was 11, this is what I was listening to instead of Nirvana.

Part 2 forthcoming next month.

 

Nick Hornby image via Wikipedia. Billy Joel image via Wikipedia, fair use. Bruce Springsteen image by werejellyfish via Flickr. JJ/FP, Phil Collins, and Boyz II Men images via Wikipedia, fair use.

Brother, Where Art Thou on Craigslist? (A Post About Word Processors)

One day, you'll stop running. One day, you'll come back to us.
One day, you’ll stop running. One day, you’ll come back to us.

A few days ago, I wrote:

“If you’re roughly my age, we may share some of these academic distinctions:

  • last or close-to-last class of students to attend various Cold War or pre-war era schools before their 90s and 2000s-riffic renovations. (Elementary school, high school, college)
  • last or close-to-last class to take a typing elective where actual typewriters were used. (9th grade, but I didn’t really learn to type until I started using AIM the next year.) Possibly the last class to even be offered a typing elective.
  • last class to run DOS in a computer applications class. (10th grade)
  • last class to run DOS-based email and instant messaging on campus servers. (college)”
He ain’t heavy.

What I didn’t mention was that before I learned to type (and before my family got our first home PC) we had a Brother word processor, a fantastic 80’s device that combined the functionality of a computer with none of the fun. Still, as a budding writer, I was mystified by the green and black interface and by the mechanical goodness of the printing process, which pounded out every word and punctuation mark with austere, efficient resolve.  If you love the visceral feel of typewriter mechanics and, for whatever reason, the ability to edit typos before they actually print, brother, these things were for you.

I saw a featured post on the WordPress homepage today that took me back to the days of digital input and ribbon printing.  Dr. J asks, and thankfully answers, the defining question of word processing’s transitional age: “Mr. Owl, how many spaces really DO go after the period?”  One, he says.  Just one.

Sir, I think I must respectfully disagree.  See what I mean? Too close. Too close for comfort. My sentences need room to breathe, friend.  Like this.  And this.   Maybe not this, though I was first taught to do three spaces. This just feels wrong.  This is the good stuff.

Because I wanted to include a picture of a Brother word processor in this post, I found this excellent Craigslisting:

Brother Portable Daisy Wheel Word Processor – $35

Brother Word Processor WP- 2600 able to save document on discs, print, & see other worksheets, etc on the screen. Great for someone beginning to learn keyboard typing & doesn’t have access to computer. Prints & saves documents.

WP-2600Q

Whisper Print ultra quiet daisy wheel system
Standard 3.5″ 720KB disk drive for MS-DOS file compatibility with PC’s
Allows transfer to ASCII files
Allows conversion of spreadsheets to LOTUS 1-2-3 WK1 files
Double column printing
Icon main menu
Dual screen capability
Allows you to view two files simultaneously and exchange information between them
Easy to read 5″x9″ (15 lines by 91 character) CRT display with contrast adjustment
Special features
GrammarCheck I with “word-spell” 70,000 word dictionary and 204 programmable user words
Punctuation alert
Redundancy check
Word count
45,000 word thesaurus
Easy access pull down menus
On screen help function
Spreadsheet software
Framing
Uses Model 1030 correctable ribbon and Model 3010 correction tape
Bold and expanded print
Block copy/move/delete
Auto save
Automatic “Word-Out” and “Line-Out” correction system erases a single word or a complete line
Automatic relocation after correction
Direct and line-by-line typing to handle labels and envelopes
Full line lift-off correction memory
Disk copy allows you to copy text from one disk to another
$35 Cash

—-

I’m not too enthused about the ultra quiet daisy wheel print system, but this post does a great job of showing us all the features that made these things practical for people who didn’t want or need a personal computer back in the day.  What a fantastic hybrid of nineteenth and twentieth century innovations, you are, Word Processor.  Even if you have no place in the 21st century market place, you’ll always have one in my heart.  Shine on, you crazy diamond!

In honor of you, and of the icy, wintry mix outside, I offer proof of how badly we needed you:

Life before Brother.
The minimalist artistry and pristine presentation of life with you, old friend.